May 172013
 
Missing grandparents

Growing up without their grandparents has impacted my kids’ lives. Even fifteen years later after their deaths, it can be hard to write about them.

Memories of grandparents are a treasure. That’s why it’s so important to write about grandparents when we preserve our stories.

Not everyone has had the privilege of knowing any, much less all, of their grandparents. The luckier among us grew up in the same town as their grandparents and have had (or had) them as a part of  everyday life. Continue reading »

May 152013
 

LinkedIn Blog Hop Today’s post is part of the LinkedIn “May Flowers” Two-Day Blog Hop.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your hop so far and I’m glad you’re here.
If you’re on Day 1 of the hop and are coming from Krysthle Poitras’ blog Krysthle’s Designs you are in the right place! (If you landed here first and want to do the full hop, start here.) We’ve got great prizes lined up for you, so don’t forget to follow all the instructions (leaving comments on and subscribing to each blog and liking our Facebook pages) and enter the Rafflecopter at the end! (Full instructions below.)

Remember the Family Gardener

Memories about a gardener or garden really need photos or illustrations of some sort. A scrapbook layout (digital or paper) is a great way to remember or honor the gardener in your life. Mine is digital, but yours doesn’t have to be.

Family Gardner Layout

This layout was inspired in part by  gift to my father-in-law: his neighbor, Sharon Van Leeuwen gave him a ShutterFly photo book with a season’s worth of photos of his garden.  He absolutely loves that book.  I decided to see if I could utilize photos of his flowers in a scrapbook layout.

Instructions

Digital 12 x 12 pageThese instructions are for PhotoShop Elements, but most softwares will have similar functions. I started with a blank 12 x 12” page. Because I anticipate printing it, I set the resolution to 300. For online displays, 72 pixels per inch is sufficient.

To add the backdrop for my text, I created a new, 8 ½” x 11” sized document, then imported it into my larger 12” x 12” page. (You can size it later.)Narrative placed on paper
As always, I started with my narrative. In this case, I kept it short. I edited my 100 word text in Word, then copied and pasted it into my digital layout. Pay attention to your font size.Text that is smaller than 12 pt will get lost. Text bigger than 24 pt will seem more like a headline than a narrative.
Adding the Picture:  I had better, higher quality pictures of my father-in law, Larry, but I wanted to use one of him in his garden. To get the text to wrap around the photo, I divided it into separate text boxes. Hint: Once you have your photo and text situated on your “paper,” lock those layers, so you can move them around together.

Framing the narrative with flowers:  You can use flowers from a kit—digital or paper. The “Natural Breeze” kit from Digidesignresort.com has some nice realistic flower options.
Inspired by (feeling competitive with?) the photo book idea, I decided to use actual photos from Larry’s garden, which I admit was pretty labor intensive.I didn’t like how the flowers alone looked as a frame, so I used this one that was included in the Natural Breeze kit.
Magic Extractor
For each flower close-up I had, I used the Adobe PSE Magic Extractor tool. (Tip: Always Preview before you hit OK.  It can save you tons of frustration.

After I had several flowers isolated, I started placing them around the frame. As I placed individual blooms, I fine-tuned the background removal with the magic eraser tool.
Once the majority of my flowers were placed, I choose my background. I used a stock background called “Kimono” that came with PSE8. Ironically, I found it a tad too green for this garden theme, so I adjusted the color (Enhance -> Adjust Color ->Replace color).

After all the flowers and embellishments were added, I selected each layer and added a drop shadow (Layer -> Layer Style -> Style Settings).

How to Win those prizes:Prize Package

To be eligible for the prize, you must:
1. Leave a comment on all sixteen posts.
2. Subscribe manually to our blogs. (On this blog, just enter your email address in the box entitled “Subscribe to my Blog via Email.” If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you’ll get a bonus for that too!)
3. Like our Facebook Pages; mine is https://www.facebook.com/Laura.Hedgecock.Writer.

Then, take the Rafflecopter for a buzz!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You have until May 31st to comment on all the blogs’ pages, and the winner will be announced on June 1st on here and on Elizabeth’s blog. The winner will have one week to claim their prize or another winner will be chosen.

Next Hop:

Go on over to Connie Umstead Walsh‘s blog and see what beautiful project she has prepared for you.

May 032013
 

Video cameras are getting smaller and less expensive. Here are some great ways to use video clips to preserve and share your memories.

If you’re blogging, it’s easy to embed a clip into your blog. If you’re using paper and pin, simply transfer the recording to a disc or USB-drive and attach the case to your notebook.

Production Advice

You’re not looking for an Oscar or fame. Just relax and be yourself. If you don’t want to spend time editing, remember less can be more. Try simple (short) recordings.

Read a favorite story or poem.

wish it were a video clip

Oh how I wish I had this on video!

This not only preserves the story, but also preserves it in your voice, with your facial expressions. Your reading will not only include your emphases, but will also probably include the way that piece was traditionally read in your family.

In Spartanburg, SC, where I grew up, a department store displayed a beautiful diorama of Clement Clark Moore’s The Night before Christmas each year. In my youth, part of our Christmas Eve tradition was going downtown to the Aug W. Smith Company’s store windows and having my father read it to us.

Years later, the diorama was restored and put on display in the local history museum. My dad visited the museum and (with permission) videoed the diorama while he read it aloud. I’ll treasure this gift always.

Record your own poem

Hold you own poetry slam. Enough said.

 Tell a story from your past

Make video clipsJust pretend your loved ones—even future loved ones—are sitting right in front of you and start your story telling. You can include visual aids (photos, tools of the trade, etc) if you’d like, but it isn’t necessary.

You don’t need a formal setting. In fact, stories told from your favorite chair provides a great welcoming backdrop.

Send a direct message to your loved ones

This is a “letter out loud.” What are the things that you want to make sure loved ones remember? What are the things that you don’t want to leave unsaid? Recording such messages can preserve the feelings of love between family members.

You can also record less momentous messages, especially for young grandchildren. If you’re packing up to go meet a new grandbaby for the first time, take a few minutes to record your activities, telling them how excited you are about their arrival. They probably won’t appreciate it for decades, but years later, it will be quite a treasure.

Record Family Occasions

Here’s where the “clip” part becomes more crucial. If you record 45 minutes of Johnny’s kindergarten graduation, people will seldom find time to watch it. If it’s a 2-minute clip featuring proud Johnny with his certificate and missing tooth in front of everyone who made the ceremony, it will be fun to look at in the future.

A Guided Tour through an Old Family Home

Going back to a family homestead? Moving out of the home in which you raised your children? Take a quick video tour of the house and rooms. (See Writing about Childhood Homes.)

By now, you have the idea and don’t need me to prompt you.  Have fun!

Apr 172013
 

Traveling Down Memory Lane:

Memory LaneDwellings in which we spent our childhood years take on a prominent role in our memories. Perhaps it’s that the layout of our homes dictated much of the rhythms of our daily lives as we grew up, or perhaps it’s the plasticity of the developing child’s mind that cause the memories to be so deeply chiseled there.

In my family, our homes were unpretentious and we tended to live in one house for decades. As a result, many of my memories revolve around the same physical building and surrounding neighborhood. Continue reading »

Apr 032013
 
Family photos

Who do you think took all these pictures?

Memories and photography go together. Photographs are a gift. Our memories can be imperfect and photographs are a wonderful way to brace our recall faculty. Plunging back into our memories by going through old photographs (or even recent ones) is a great way to bond with others and luxuriate in the warm sunshine of our glory days. Continue reading »

Mar 182013
 

We all know the story of the young woman cutting off the end of the ham, don’t we? The tradition was passed on from generation to generation, without understanding the meaning for it. Turns out, great-great-grandma’s pan was too small, so the meat had to be trimmed.

Tenebrae candles

Holy Week Candles

It’s great to pass on family traditions, even if you don’t know the origins. If you do know—even  better. The more deeply succeeding generations understand the meaning behind traditions, the more the practices will resonate with them later in life. It will also serve to connect them with their elders: Following in the footsteps of mothers and grandmothers (or fathers and grandfathers) imbues deeper meaning into practices and rituals.

How to Preserve and Teach Family Traditions

You can preserve these memories by teaching them to your family, particularly your kids and grandkids. How?

traditions 1)   Time

We learn by doing. The absolute best way to preserve traditions is to spend time with your family members, practicing and teaching these traditions. They might start out as rituals, but, over time they can become vehicles with which they can connect with people they love and remember, their past, and their family’s shared heritage.

 The time we spend practicing traditions also teaches our family about the value that they hold for us. When I practice my family tradition of almost over-decorating for Christmas (actually, there is no such thing as over-decorating in my mind), my teenage boys don’t join in enthusiastically.  They tell me, “We don’t like doing it as much as we like having it done.” My guess is that one day they’ll have well decorated houses.

Sadly, we don’t always have the luxury of time or geographical proximity. Families often live far away. Health concerns and career demands prevent travel. However, this doesn’t mean traditions can’t still be shared.

2)      Take a photo (or photos):

Digital or print, photos of traditions being practiced will help preserve them. For instance, if one person is missing from the July 4 family reunion, you can snap some pictures with a smart phone and immediately send them.
Scrapbook page

3)      Make a scrapbook page:

Memorializing traditions with a beautiful scrapbook layout relays its import to you.

4)      Make a movie:

Sometimes text is inadequate for passing on the tricks and tips. Grab a flip camera and make a quick video for the younger generations. If the younger generation is available, you can even Skype.

5)      Make an audio recording:

It’s not just our ancestors that could pass on oral histories. Grab a recorder and start talking about the things you love and share these recordings with the people you love.

6)      Write:

As you write about traditions, your personality, your love and respect for the traditions, and your “voice” will shine through.  (Add pictures!)

Traditions through Food

Foods carry rich traditions. Even the ingredients of recipes reveal much about the culture from which they originated. In addition, ethnic and religious traditions are deeply entwined with recipes and the way food  is prepared. In addition, food preparation is a sensory rich experience. Memories associated with smells, tastes, and sounds come quickly back to the surface when triggered.

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits remind me of my Grandma Crymes.

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits remind me of my Grandma Crymes.

Though neither of my grandmother’s lived close to us while we were growing up, I have very distinct memories of their kitchens and some of the dishes they liked to cook. To this day, eating (and smelling) similar dishes can take me back to the days when my feet still swung above the floor and I sat at their tables.

How do you pass on your family traditions?

© Laura Hedgecock 2013

Related post:

A Recipe for Posterity” by Staci Toilo.

Mar 062013
 

Friends Conspire

Family members are not the only ones who play a starring role in our emotional and spiritual well-being. There are times—when family is far away, when the nest is empty, or when family is gone—that good friends fill the gaps.

Friends can become as close as family members, especially if we live far away from our actual biological families. Many of us have friends that have stood by us throughout the years, sharing good times, bringing meals, and mopping up tears in times of sorrow. They are fixtures in our lives.

My grandmother wrote a loving poem in honor of her friend Martha Ellen Clark Gee (Aunt Ellen to us) entitled “Ellen of Virginia.” Much of her poem had to do with how heartbreaking it would be if her friend Ellen ever left Virginia. For my mother, also named Ellen, this was a very moving piece. She had always harbored doubts about leaving her home state of Virginia and living so far from her parents and was gratified to see that when she wasn’t able to be with her mother, a dear friend was.

Writing About a Friend

Writing about your feelings for a friend gives loved ones (your readers) insight into your development, regardless of whether it was a childhood or adult friendship. That doesn’t mean that you need to write about every friend you have, but consider writing about those friendship experiences that have helped mold you.

Beth, in the center, isn't my biological sister, but note that we had matching night-gowns.

Beth, in the center, isn’t my biological sister, but note that we had matching night-gowns.

Another reason to write about friends: The simple fact that our loved ones tend to love the people who we love. We can develop an affection for a near stranger, based only on their relationship to someone we love.

For example, my mother had a friend named Nancy Green. I’ve never met Nancy, but I have a deep fondness for her. This grows not only out of the fact that they shared a childhood, but also from their shared passion for art and the fact that they managed to stay close for five decades.

Likewise, I have strong connections to some of the youth for whom my mother advocated as a child protection worker. I never knew their names, but, because my mom cared so deeply about them, I think about them from time to time and pray that they have found their paths to happiness.

Not a Competition

Before you start deliberating about which friend is “best,” realize that this is not a competition or ranking. It’s simply your feelings about someone and they role they play or have played in your life.

Try Writing About a Friend

Try writing down your memories of and reflections on a dear friend.
Include

• Physical attributes
• Personality attributes
• How you met
• Bonds that you shared
• Why you treasure your friend

It can rhyme, be in simple prose, or an essay. The point is to convey some sense of this person to those who do (or did) not know him/her well.

Want to read an example of a writing about a dear friend? Read Laura of Laurens. 

© Laura Hedgecock 2013

Mar 012013
 

If you’re reading this in blog format, you’re probably a computer user. However, there are generations of people with tons of memories that should be preserved who aren’t comfortable with the digital age. You probably know and love one.

digital-mother-board-rgbstoIn fact, individual comfort levels with the digital devices vary greatly. Teens and tweens, for example, view computers, smart phones, and social networking as an integral part of life—a completely intuitive way of relating to the world. Others, like me, are tech savvy, but started out categorizing such devices as tools, much like the telephone. We’ve come to use them seamlessly, but we use them because they connect us and get our work done. People who were introduced to computers at an advanced age often are less at ease with them, using them almost grudgingly, out of necessity or to keep up. Still others shun them.

Your—or your loved one’s—facility with computers and digital archiving is important to consider when writing about and deciding to “go digital”—or not.

Computer-Keyboard-rbgstockIf you’re not sure, ask a couple of basic questions. (You can ask them to yourself or to your loved one if you’re encouraging them to document their memories.) Do you find word-processing programs to be your most efficient way of putting words to paper? Do you like the convenience of editing, sorting, cutting, and pasting? Do you find paperless files easier to organize? Do you have a readily available (working) laptop, tablet, or computer? (This one can be a deal breaker.)

If the answers were more along the lines of “Perish the thought!” or if the questions themselves filled you or your loved one with distaste, remember that digital media isn’t necessary in order to write. It’s simply an option. People write best when they’re comfortable with their tools.

Journals-for-handwritingIf you love the feel of pen and paper, there is no need to go high tech. Find a notebook or attractive journal and just get started. Handwritten words are getting to be more and more of a treasure. In fact, the handwriting of a loved one can evoke strong emotions and facilitate connections. If you write legibly, your family will almost certainly enjoy, even treasure, seeing your hand. The “if,” however, is critical; you must write legibly.

This is a lesson my family learned the hard way. My grandmother’s handwriting was beyond illegible. In fact, her handwriting—the term itself is perhaps generous—was self-taught and looked more like a toddler’s imitation of cursive. If not for my mother’s ability to decipher and her determination to record my grandmother’s writings for the rest of us, my Grandma’s whole “Treasure Chest” might have been lost to us.

Though my mother typed Grandma’s memories, she annotated many in her own hand. Somehow, my mother’s handwriting embodies her personality. When I look at it, my heart inevitably experiences a tug.
So, regardless of whether you want to use pen and paper, typewriter, computer, tablet, or blog, the important thing is to simply write down those stories.

Feb 242013
 

Two-Photographers-LOC-PPOCIf you’re like me, you have a lot more stories about your grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles than you do photos.  I have only a handful.  If you’re artistic, you can draw (and scan when needed) your own illustrations. If you’re not artistic, you can find historical images to illustrate your writing.

Finding Images at the Library of Congress:

It’s easier to get to the Library of Congress than you might have imagined. Although you can also find Library of Congress (LOC) images through Ancestry.com, there’s no need to go through a paid subscription service.  The LOC’s Prints & Photograph Online Catalog (PPOC) is available at http://www.loc.gov/pictures/ and it’s searchable.  There are photo collections, posters, and prints.

369378pv interior of tobbaco barnFor instance, my mother was raised on a tobacco farm, but there are no photographs of the barn.  However, through the PPOC, I can find a photo of a Virginian tobacco barn (right).
Caveat:  The Library of Congress gives whatever copy- or usage rights it can, but securing appropriate permissions is up to the user.  If you’re using the images commercially, you need to look at carefully at the accompanying information.

Using Ancestry.com and Other Genealogical Resources

Ancestry.com, a subscription service, is the biggest resource for images of historical documents. If you don’t have (or want) a subscription, check to see if your library has a library edition. Additionally, Ancestry.com isn’t the only game in town.  Other sites, such as FamilySearch and the National Archives also have such images, although they are not indexed to the same extent.

Tip:

An example of a historical document augmenting a narrative:  “My Grandfather’s Military Service

©Laura Hedgecock 2013

Feb 202013
 
Family roots

Roots: hidden, fragile, tangled, and often more than just a little bit dirty.

It was only after I stumbled over some of them that I started paying attention to my family roots. Now I spend a lot of my time looking for more of them.

My family tree looks nothing like the iconic oak with its rounded top and balanced, far-reaching branches. “Roots” seems more applicable—hidden, fragile, tangled, and often more than just a little bit dirty.

The silhouette of our tree used to look more like a willow that lost limbs in every storm, than the archetypal oak. On my father’s side, we had precious little information, owing not the least to the fact that our grandmother was an orphan. The opposite was true of my mother’s side of the family; we had information on our ancestors going back to about 1500.

For the intact, maternal side of our tree, my sister and I had two great sources of information. One was our amazing Aunt Ann and her thirty plus years of pre-internet genealogical research. The other was our grandmother’s Treasure Chest of Memories.

My Grandmother’s Treasure Chest of Memories:

Treasure Chest of Memories author Hazel Crymes

My grandmother with my cousin Harry circa 1983.

Written in a script illegible to all but my mother, her Treasure Chest of Memories was an old spiral notebook filled with a lifetime of her writings. Her entries ranged from humorous anecdotes to highly personal ruminations, good recipes, and wisdom she had gathered along the way.

As she approached the end of her battle with cancer, Grandma decided to pass her Treasure Chest on to the next generation(s). My cousin Harry swore on all of our behalves that it would never be published, rather be kept only in the family. My mother painstakingly transcribed Grandma’s handwriting and presented each of her siblings and every grandchild with a folder of typed writings—our own copy of Grandma’s Treasure Chest.

A treasure it is! Grandma died in 1983, the year I graduated from college. I was not able to enjoy a woman-to-woman relationship with her in life, but through her memories, I connect with her, again and again, throughout the differing phases of my life.

In honor of my grandmother, Hazel Savoy Crymes, I hope to provide resources and inspiration to others, so that they, too, can  create a treasure of incalculable value for the ones they love.

Make your own Treasure Chest of Memories

Go ahead.  Share your treasures!

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