May 102017
 

In the hyper-awareness that comes with loss, quite a few bittersweet moments have embossed themselves on my heart and memory. Snapshots of love, grief, and faith, gathered over the last two weeks.

Sacred Bittersweet Moments

Our minds record touching, bittersweet moments more vividly than a camera could.

I thought the dearly departed would have enjoyed some of them, were he watching. Perhaps he was. My insights aren’t unique, I’m sure. Such bittersweet moments happen in families all the time. But I found comfort in writing them down. Considering them together, I realize that they tell a story that is as much about the departed as those he left behind.

I hope that by my sharing them, you’ll record a few of your own. Continue reading »

May 272016
 
What else have you lost quote by Havelock Ellis

What else have you lost? How did that loss teach the fine art of living?

Grief often rears its dark, draining head, not just when someone dies.  The onset of many life crises is the loss of something. A relationship, a value, a sense of purpose.  We’ve all experienced a loss of a pet or cherished object (See Writing Your Lost and Found Story.) But what else have you lost during your lifetime? Continue reading »

Dec 082014
 
Writing about the past

Writing about the past can help you release the negativity while keeping the memory.

When to let go

Connections to the past matter. A lot. But sometimes sadness, hurt, and anger about the past becomes baggage. Carrying those suitcases around make traveling forward more cumbersome and emotionally expensive. Sometimes we have to emotionally let go of past events to keep a healthy relationship with the present and future. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, writing about the past is a great strategy to keep our What-Could–Have-Been from overshadowing our What-Can-Still-Be.

Just so you know which body part I’m speaking from, I’ll confess up front. I’m not good at letting go.

Writing about the past doesn’t just prevent you from bottling up your feelings. Writing can help process the past, enabling us to embrace the present and future. That’s especially true when we combine writing about the past with solid advice from professionals. Although I’m normally all about sharing, these techniques are also helpful when you keep your writing private. Continue reading »

Dec 052013
 
Remembering and Missing loved ones during Christmas

“Forget-me-not” isn’t the issue. Remembering and missing someone can make holidays difficult.

Let’s face it: Remembering loved ones during the holidays isn’t all kittens and rainbows. Remembering can bring feelings of loss and emptiness to the forefront.

But, there’s another truth. It’s going to happen. During the holidays, we’re going to remember—and miss—loved ones who have passed. We going to remember Christmas or Hanukkahs past.

We wonder how to bring meaning to those feelings of loss. Especially during the first holiday season after a loss, we also wonder how we’re going to get through. Here are some resources for doing just that. Continue reading »

Nov 032013
 

Missing Someone on All Saints Day It’s a somber celebration, if that’s not an oxymoron. Many of us find ourselves missing someone on All Saints Day.

Theologically we celebrate the face that loved ones have joined God and are in communion with other saints. We also confirm our belief that we will join them at the heavenly table one day. (Read a full explanation from Presbyterian Missions.) I used to wonder if missing someone on All Saints Day was bad. Because I always do.

When we think of all the “saints” that have gone from our lives, the less faithful—or more honest–part of us wants to lament. “But I’m going to miss him or her! I already miss them!” If the loss is recent, it can even be difficult to hold it together.

In my church, the bulletin contains a list of individuals who have died since the last All Saints Day. Reading the list is like taking a fist into the gut. It contains the names of lovely people who contributed so much to the life of the church. It has names of people who inspired me. When I think of these people–friends, co-workers, and prayer partners and relatives who have died, I miss them. Continue reading »

Apr 222013
 

Write about memories tell your storyThere are plenty of unselfish reasons to write about memories, but there’s nothing wrong with doing it simply for yourself. You can write about memories to preserve your stories while memory serves, for the joy of writing, or to work-through your past. You can also write about memories because telling your stories is therapeutic. Continue reading »