Our female ancestors’ stories can be harder to tell. Census records reduce their lifetimes into who they married, how many children they bore, and the ubiquitous “keeps house.” It’s work to discover their maiden names, much less their narratives.
As a result of historical records favoring prominent males, so do our stories. In addition, many family storytellers gravitate towards stories of momentous accomplishments. The stories of the poor farmers who eked out a living are few and far between. And that story of his wife? The “relic” of another man?
Sadly, those women’s stories—our female ancestors’ stories – are largely one-dimensional, when they exist at all.
In How Telling Women’s Stories Shapes Generations and Builds Resilience, Alexandra Madhavan explains why that’s a shame.
Women’s narratives are often overlooked, underappreciated, and undermined. Women often bear the silent workload, the unseen labor. Women carry the hopes of generations on their backs, with the hope that things will be better for their kids. While women’s stories in the media are often one dimensional, women’s stories that are handed down through family are rich and complex. That’s why it’s so important to pass these narratives on to your children.
How to tell female ancestors’ stories
1. Put her in socio-historical context
What else was happening that would explain her circumstances? What choices did she have? For instance, was she likely to have been able to choose her husband or would her marriage have been arranged? Was she educated?
2. Look at records of her contemporaries
Diaries and letters from women in similar circumstances provide clues to what her life might have been like. Of course, you can’t project things like whether or not her husband was kind or her kids well behaved. However, you can get a taste of what daily chores were like, what her social life likely consisted of, and how the family traveled.
3. Study for clues in photographs
If you follow Maureen Taylor (aka the photo detective), you know that studying photographs can give you hints about the subject. This goes beyond deciphering the date. With a little research, you can ascertain if the clothing was more representative of a working class or upper society. Many times, you can also identify the background and get a taste of the family character.
4. Preserve stories in recent memory
Take every opportunity to celebrate female ancestors’ stories.
Your grandmothers will be the next generations’ ancestors. Interview and research these women’s stories. What events in history did she witness? What was her take on it then? How does she feel about it now?
You can also connect her oral accounts to history. For instance, a “Rosie the Riveter” who worked at the Willow Run Bomber Plant, might only describe her job. However, when you look at the plant’s production of 8, 685 bombers, you see her contribution in context.
If you’re looking for interviewing tips, listen to Michigan Radio’s July 29, 2013 interview with former Rosie, Emma Rancour.
5. Tell varied stories.
Of course, I’m by no means implying a Rosie’s story matters more than any other woman’s experience. The diversity of our female ancestors’ stories makes a beautiful quilt of women’s history.
Your Turn:
How will you tell your female ancestors’ stories? Which stories will you tell?
Image Credits:
- Headline graphic: Underlying image by John Vachon, Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/pp.print.
- Photograph of four friends, @ L Hedgecock, used with permission.
- Photograph of Rosies, @ Laura Hedgecock, 2015, used with permission.
- Pinnable Graphic: Underlying image by Louise Rosskam, “Oldest Woman in Lincoln County,” Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division
I’m telling the story of my grandmother’s education because I’m seeing now that it defined her.
Ohhh. Can’t wait to read it Liz. It’s so easy to forget what a privilege it was to get an education in earlier generations.
Excellent tips! I really like #5 – Tell Varied Stories. So not only tell the stories of the more public or better documented women, but all the women in our families. And to talk or write about their whole lives – the good and the not so good, the big things and little things.
Thanks for agreeing w/ me Diane. It’s my absolute favorite soapbox (for the men too).
I’ve been telling the story of my maternal grandma who was determined to marry the man she chose, not a suitor selected by her family. She prevailed, and they did marry. A strong-willed woman who longed to break out of traditional roles! Her story opens the door to interesting conversations with our younger relatives.
That’s so awesome. These stories don’t just entertain and connect. They springboard conversations.
Reread your post as a link from the 2021 Gen Blog Party for March. And I realized how important socio-historical context is for women, in particular, because too often all I know about a female ancestor from the past is her birth/marriage/death info and where she lived. It helps to think about her economic status, the neighborhood or area where she lived, what she lived through (bringing up kids on own during Civil War while husband was away). Great reminders, thank you!
Thanks Marian! I live that all the time with my poor farming ancestors, because so little exists in the way of records.
It was refreshing to read your linteresting post. We tend to focus on researching our ancestors, but far less on the techniques and best practice of writing their stories. Unfortunately one grandmother died when I was a baby, and the other was rather a distant figure I saw only once a year and she died in my teens, I enjoyed reading your tips, especially about putting their lives in the wider social context. Thank you.
Thanks Sue, I think I’m really passionate about it because my paternal grandmother hid her past. (Claimed she was adopted.) I really wish I knew more about her story.
Thanks for the though that perhaps my next published work should be a female, since I’ve completed two male projects.
That would be way cool!
Thanks for this reminder! I feel, too, that women’s stories are overlooked and under appreciated. I’m working on a project now about local women who served during WWII. Plenty of women from my county enlisted in the military at that time, and their stories are amazing to learn about. Not every woman was able or willing to leave their family to join the military or nurse corps, so I’m also researching women who served in various capacities on the home front, including working war jobs, volunteering as Nurses’ Aides, training with the Ambulance Safety Patrol, and were part of the American Red Cross. Telling women’s stories doesn’t diminish the sacrifices that men made during that time, but enriches our understanding of history and honors their stories, too.
I love this. That kind of context is so hard to find. I have a photo of my grandmother in a red cross uniform. I don’t know if she volunteered during WWI or perhaps the 1918 pandemic. We need those stories out in the universe (and WWW).
Laura
It’s possible she helped out with both! It’s hard to uncover their stories and contributions, but it’s so worth it when you do! I identify more easily with my female ancestors because I see myself in them. I often wonder if I would make their same choices. Would I have joined the WAVES like my grandma during WWII and travelled across the country? Would I have served in the Red Cross during the 1918 flu pandemic, or stayed home, like I am during this pandemic? It’s interesting to think about.
So true. I wonder about pioneer women. If I had YouTube, I would probably be able to cut it. But without it? Not so sure.
I can’t imagine having to figure it out on my own. I’d hope that there were other women around to teach me!
Thanks, Laura, for a very informative post! I need to bookmark this post and keep it handy! I can only hope that I can do justice in telling their stories. But, I do agree that you have to work harder to discover their stories!
I know. And we tend to procrastinate what is hard.