You may have beaucoup family photos, but none of the person who snapped the photos, because no one thought of putting the family photographer in the frame.

In many families, there’s one person who is the designated family photographer. Often this person is the one that dutifully writes names on the backs of photos and mounts them in a beautiful album.

Usually that person enjoys their role and  the gratitude they receive from family members. However, this arrangement can have its downside: When all those photo albums are compiled, sometimes the family photographer is only conspicuous by their absence.

Who do you think took all these pictures? You might not know because the family photographer was on the other side of the photos.

Parents as Family Photographers

I know that was the case in my family. Though my mom was a stay at home mom, if you went purely by the photos she left, you would wonder why she was never around. It was not just that she was bitten by virulent shutter-bug or was over-enthused over the Kodak Instamatic. She was not comfortable with her beauty and was self-conscious in front of the camera. She took her refuge on the other side of it.

She only lightened up on this when she had grand kids. Something made her realize that preserving memories of Grandma playing with Duplos would matter.

It’s a problem that’s particularly true of moms that serve as the family photographer. In her wonderfully eloquent blog “The Mom Stays in the Picture” featured in The Huffington Post, Allison Tate makes the case that moms, complete with any physical flaws they might possess, should stay in front of the camera, in the frame with their children. It’s a well-written, moving piece that I highly recommend. I won’t do it the disservice of summarizing or paraphrasing. She makes some very valid points. When we look back at pictures of ourselves as youths with our parents, we’re not evaluating our parents’ physical attributes. We’re remembering our bond.

Photography for memory’s sake, like almost everything else in life, requires moderation and balance.  As wonderful as it is for parents to have pictures of their children, it is equally wonderful to have photos with the entire family in the frame. If you don’t allow others to put the family photographer in the frame, the rest of your family miss the evidence of the sweet times together.

Put the family photographer in the frame, or on the dance floor, or…

Similarly, it’s great to memorialize all those coming of age moments—dance recitals, sports, graduations, etc. However, when you look back on your photographs or videos later in life, you don’t want your memories to be based solely on recorded images. Stop and drink in the moments as well, imprinting them on your brain so you have access to them when there’s nary a photo album in sight.

I admit it doesn’t come easily. I am not photogenic. At all. Good photos of me are far and few between. Which makes me reluctant to pose.
Or to pay a Photoshop expert gads of money to fix me.

However, on the other hand, now the kids are grown, the evidence that I was there matters. Admittedly, there aren’t that many, but photos like this, with my sons and I all in our soccer uniforms, make me smile when I look back.

Finally, I put (myself) the family photographer in the frame. © Laura Hedgecock

Your Turn:

Put yourself, the family photographer in the frame, at least occasionally. Yep, I’m talking to you. Get in front as well as behind the lens.